Well, life kinda sucks sometimes, but at the same time, it's great.

Well, it's obviously been forever since I posted anything here, and I'm not going to apologize, because all of you have seen my Facebook posts, so you know the basics. However, there's been some stuff going on that I haven't shared with everyone, but it's starting to effect my ability to do things with others.  So, rather than explain it to every individual, I'll blog about it :)

  Starting in May my feet started swelling pretty badly, and I started having a hard time breathing while doing the simplest of physical tasks. I started drinking much more water, watching my salt intake, all the basics. However, it kept getting worse. I finally decided to go to the doctor after 2 minutes into a hike with my awesome Young Women, I had to turn back. My feet were swelling so badly my shoes hurt, and my chest felt like it was about to burst. I could feel my pulse in my face, and it took about half an hour for me to catch my breath. That was my wakeup call. I went to my regular doctor who did blood work (normal except for moderate vitamin D deficiency, which is common in people with Celiac's Disease) and ordered an Echocardiogram and a Holter Monitor, which is essentially an EKG you wear for 24 hours. The Echo was normal (yay!) but there were some abnormalities on the monitor. Specifically, I had pretty frequent Premature Atrial Complexes, which basically means my Atrium would throw an extra beat in just for funsies. This condition on its own is pretty normal, about 50% of healthy people experience this occasionally with no ill effects. However, combined with my swelling, chest tightness, swelling and dizziness, it could point to some underlying circulatory issues. This is when my regular physician referred me to a Cardiologist.

    I've only had one appointment with my cardiologist so far, and he ordered a stress Echo to make sure my heart is ok when I exercise. That came back normal, which basically means there's something wrong, but it's not in my heart, which is really good news! The bad news is, we still don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm getting more tired every day. This is why I'm limiting my friend time, because most days I barely have enough energy for my boys, and they come first. :)

   Emotionally, it's been rough. The last time I didn't know what was wrong, I was sick for 10 months before I was diagnosed with Celiac's. It took a huge toll on my mental state, and I barely recognized myself. However, this time I have my boys, who bring me so much joy. I love them so much, and am keeping myself optimistic and (mostly) happy for them. It's hard when mommy's too tired to play, but Andrew is one of the most loving, sensitive boys, and has been snuggling with me much more often, which is pretty out of character for him. I am relying on my faith much more this time around, and keeping myself as busy as possible so I don't have too much time to feel sorry for myself. It still happens, of course, but my family is enough to remind me that I don't have time for self-pity.

   Long story short, I'm sorry if I bum out on plans, it's not you, it's me! I love you all, and am so grateful for my family, and my Savior, who I have come to rely on for comfort and peace.